Portugal are through after beating a very average Iran team 2-0. Iran actually hasn’t looked that bad in their two losses, but the promise of millions and their own villas from their dodgy president wasn’t enough incentive to get them out of the group stage.

Portugal, in their best imitation of England–loads of talent and still no offense, will advance. Or maybe they’re just imitating themselves. At any rate, they’ve only earned the privilege to be fodder for Group C anyway.

Pretty boy, Christiano Ronaldo, actually looked useful at times rather than just showing off. It’s Figo’s presence on the pitch that’s making the difference so far, though. Deco was the star today, but this team will only go as far as the old man takes them. They should be better, but they’re not. Loaded with guns. A great coach.

Two more matches to play, and they can head for the beach–that seems to be what they’re thinking.