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Comings and Goings

Bruce Arena was quickly snatched up by the Red Bulls as the new joke coach of a joke team in a joke league. After his dismal running of an overrated American squad in the World Cup, I guess he had to take what he could get. He publicly complained right after the Cup that the American players had to go abroad to hone their skills in order to become competitive. He was absolutely correct there. The first thing he’d gotten right in a month. The advice didn’t apply to him, apparently. Sorry Bruce, Europe has all the bog standard coaches it needs at the moment–good luck in Jersey.

I’ve been looking over the transfer lists, but there really hasn’t been much to raise the eyebrows over yet. I don’t really think Chelsea has improved over last year despite dropping even more dosh. Ballack, Shevchenko, Mikel–so what? They’re going to be focused on the Champions League this year, since that’s the coveted bit of silverware they haven’t won. The race might be tighter in the Premier League. They just might end up with nothing. There’s always hope.

The Premiership challenge has to come from the usual suspects, though. There’s no new teams sneaking into the upper echelon yet. I think Arsenal are slipping a bit rather than gaining. Their defense is getting worse by the day. Cambell is gone. Senderos is out. Cole wants to leave. The new stadium isn’t going to be hosting the same quality that has been on the pitch at Highbury the last few years. The Invincibles, they aren’t. Chelsea probably won’t dip far enough for the Gunners to be a factor.

ManU need a few signings–and no, Ole Gunnar isn’t one. He’ll never be quite the same after his destroyed knee. They’re in the process of getting rid of Ruud, but dead set on keeping prissy Crissy Ronaldo (on the same team as his best mate in the world, Wayne Rooney). When they need help, and they do especially in the midfield, they’ve always gone out and got it. They’re still the biggest team in the game. As long as the Glasers keep up that tradition, they should add enough talent to push that London team.

Liverpool might be the strongest of the lot. They trimmed some dead weight. Bruno Cheyrou, the next Zidane, wasn’t and never will be. Morientes, Hamann, Cisse, were all superfluous parts. Adding Gabriel Paletta may help in the back. I’ve never cared for Craig Bellamy (Norwich bloke that he was), but Liverpool might be the perfect spot for him–if there is one. They want a few more signings, but the purse strings seem to be tightening. If they can wrestle away one of the relegated Italians or two–they could be right there at the end.

I always have a soft spot for Tottenham. Especially with Martin Jol coaching now. I always support them, but they only win when I’m not watching. They haven’t really bulked up any over last year, but the pack may come to them. I’ll do my part. I refuse to watch a live Spurs match until October (unless they’re playing Chelski). I’ll give them until then. Can’t say fairer than that.

An Open Invitation to Disillusioned Seria A Fans

The Italian verdicts are in–pending the inevitable appeal. They may not have been the draconian slams that the offense may have deserved. After all, how dare the bastards ruin one of the few good things in the world for their own greedy little ends. If I were King, I’d have their heads. Actually, I’d have many many heads, so it’s probably just as well I stay in my current position.

None of the rumors I heard concerning the possible penalties the clubs faced were worse than what actually came down. So, I’m not hugely disappointed. I half suspected it would be much lighter. There was even talk at one point of granting all involved an amnesty. There is a massive amount of money at stake, and that’s what everything comes down to in the end. It would have been a remarkable result if the Italians gave the crime a fitting sentence. They ended up slapping a little harder than I expected them to anyway. Sorry Inter fans (I’m one)–disbanding AC was never going to happen.

But for all you out there too disgusted to support the crooked Serie A, I offer redemption. There exists a fine little team in the East of England, in the idyllic setting of Constable country, off the North Sea coast. They play beautiful football. Stressing defense and passing. Well, that is seemingly what they often look to be doing. Sometimes you have to squint to see it. Good, solid, blue collar, hard-working, non-cheating… Everything you could ask for in a football team. They are Ipswich Town.

There is no match fixing there. The results speak for themselves. They couldn’t even afford to pay Darren Bent, Marcus Bent, Richard Wright, Kieron Dyer, Matt Holland, Herman Hriedersson. The sad list is endless. No thought could ever be given to attempting to buy a single ref. They don’t even offer me a pint to say nice things about them. The games don’t always end happily, but they are always legit.

So now’s your chance to get on the wagon. Don’t leave it too late. Once we get a bit of Champions League silverware, and all that–you’ll just be accused of being a frontrunner then. Soon as I’m King.

Whatever you do, take my advice (and Elvis Costello’s). Don’t go to Chelsea.

The Great Intertoto Cup Tomorrow

Newcastle will kick things off tomorrow night at St James’ Park against Lillestrom in the Intertoto Cup. They do it without Michael Owen, obviously. Alan Shearer is no more. And the diminutive Scott Parker now wears the captain’s arm band. I like Glenn Roeder, but I think Toon are going to find it tough going this year. They’ll be solid mid-table, but they’ll need some signings if they’re going to keep up with the tier of teams just below Chelsea (Arsenal, ManU, Liverpool).

The Italian verdicts are supoposed to be in about now. They wanted to wait until the financial markets closed for the weekend. That should tell you something. Juve, Fiorentina, Lazio are all to be relegated to Serie B and AC Milan are booted from the Champions League. Now all we need is some public beheadings of the guilty refs and team management, and we’ll call things square.

Football World Still Quiet

Still not much of immediate note taking place in the football world. The Italians are apparently giving the players and fans a chance to enjoy the Cup before dragging the unpleasantness of the match fixing verdicts back out. Needs to happen very soon, though. It’s expected that Juventus will be slammed, but the other parties, even Fiorentina, will just get a slap.

Real Madrid continues their never ending quest to make as many big money busts as possible. Rumored to have been courting one of the most worthless high profile coaches in the world in Sven Goren Erickson, now they’re leading the race to land a worthless high profile striker as well. Ruud van Nistlerooy appears set to go to Spain. Man U would love to dump him. Especially since they seem to want to keep weepy Ronaldo now, and Ruud always hurts his feelings. Looks like Barcelona in a walk this year. Real is becoming a laughing stock. All that money–and nothing to show for it but a circus act. Take note Chelski.

Speaking of hurt feelings, the word is FIFA is now looking into Materazzi to see what he did to provoke Zidane. What are they going to do? Ban players from talking to each other? I don’t care what he said to him, Zidane has to know better. It’s the bloody World Cup final, you imbicile. Kick his ass later. You’d think a French player would know what to do in that situation. He should have taken a page out of the Monty Python book and just ran away from the insidious taunting, whether his mother wears the combat boots or not.

Ipswich’s first loss of the season is only about 3 weeks away already. The Championship Division is about to start first week of August. The Premier League will only be a couple weeks behind. Actually, I hear the MSL is suposedly playing now. The Red Bulls have been looking to pull a Cosmos move and land some aging superstar. Zidane was mentioned, but I bet he’s off the radar now–still technically under contract anyway, whether he retires or not. Beckham. Ronaldo-grande. Whomever they land it won’t be a Pele, and it won’t make a difference. There’s no shortcuts. Make the league competitive and slowly increase the talent level across the board. It’s a poor standard right now. Give me a reason to want to watch it and I’ll start. Until then I’ll keep looking to Europe. If you can’t hook me, you have no chance.

Time to Re-focus

The month long football orgy is over–unless you live in Italy. Like all orgies, it was fabulous while it lasted, but it’s time to get back to the day to day.

While players drift off for a couple last weeks in the sun, teams are already gearing up for the long seasons that are about to begin. Many players will be drifting back to different clubs. Particularly once the fall-out from the Italian scandal is sorted. The huge stars at Juve, AC etc may be looking to move on soon–or will be forced to.

Coaches have left, been replaced–including seemingly every international one. Even Lippi has left after winning the World Cup. Everyone else is leaving, presumably, because they did not. Klinsmann has quit Germany. If I’m the US Federation, I’m on the blower with him yesterday trying to convince him to take over for Arena. That move would be huge for the US team. Anything short of something like that, is going to seem like a step backward.

Tons of transfers I’ve barely had a chance to glance at. Chelsea’s usual horde, of course, but some other surprises as well. Probably many more coming soon, since the notable distraction has come to an end. Didi Hamman bolts Liverpool for Bolton, then immediately bolts again for Man City.

It’s all very confusing. I’m still working my way through the World Cup hangover. It’s going to take a couple days to start to be able to make sense of everything.

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