Author: Mike Barkacs (Page 5 of 17)

The Italian verdicts are in–pending the inevitable appeal. They may not have been the draconian slams that the offense may have deserved. After all, how dare the bastards ruin one of the few good things in the world for their own greedy little ends. If I were King, I’d have their heads. Actually, I’d have many many heads, so it’s probably just as well I stay in my current position.

None of the rumors I heard concerning the possible penalties the clubs faced were worse than what actually came down. So, I’m not hugely disappointed. I half suspected it would be much lighter. There was even talk at one point of granting all involved an amnesty. There is a massive amount of money at stake, and that’s what everything comes down to in the end. It would have been a remarkable result if the Italians gave the crime a fitting sentence. They ended up slapping a little harder than I expected them to anyway. Sorry Inter fans (I’m one)–disbanding AC was never going to happen.

But for all you out there too disgusted to support the crooked Serie A, I offer redemption. There exists a fine little team in the East of England, in the idyllic setting of Constable country, off the North Sea coast. They play beautiful football. Stressing defense and passing. Well, that is seemingly what they often look to be doing. Sometimes you have to squint to see it. Good, solid, blue collar, hard-working, non-cheating… Everything you could ask for in a football team. They are Ipswich Town.

There is no match fixing there. The results speak for themselves. They couldn’t even afford to pay Darren Bent, Marcus Bent, Richard Wright, Kieron Dyer, Matt Holland, Herman Hriedersson. The sad list is endless. No thought could ever be given to attempting to buy a single ref. They don’t even offer me a pint to say nice things about them. The games don’t always end happily, but they are always legit.

So now’s your chance to get on the wagon. Don’t leave it too late. Once we get a bit of Champions League silverware, and all that–you’ll just be accused of being a frontrunner then. Soon as I’m King.

Whatever you do, take my advice (and Elvis Costello’s). Don’t go to Chelsea.

Newcastle will kick things off tomorrow night at St James’ Park against Lillestrom in the Intertoto Cup. They do it without Michael Owen, obviously. Alan Shearer is no more. And the diminutive Scott Parker now wears the captain’s arm band. I like Glenn Roeder, but I think Toon are going to find it tough going this year. They’ll be solid mid-table, but they’ll need some signings if they’re going to keep up with the tier of teams just below Chelsea (Arsenal, ManU, Liverpool).

The Italian verdicts are supoposed to be in about now. They wanted to wait until the financial markets closed for the weekend. That should tell you something. Juve, Fiorentina, Lazio are all to be relegated to Serie B and AC Milan are booted from the Champions League. Now all we need is some public beheadings of the guilty refs and team management, and we’ll call things square.

Still not much of immediate note taking place in the football world. The Italians are apparently giving the players and fans a chance to enjoy the Cup before dragging the unpleasantness of the match fixing verdicts back out. Needs to happen very soon, though. It’s expected that Juventus will be slammed, but the other parties, even Fiorentina, will just get a slap.

Real Madrid continues their never ending quest to make as many big money busts as possible. Rumored to have been courting one of the most worthless high profile coaches in the world in Sven Goren Erickson, now they’re leading the race to land a worthless high profile striker as well. Ruud van Nistlerooy appears set to go to Spain. Man U would love to dump him. Especially since they seem to want to keep weepy Ronaldo now, and Ruud always hurts his feelings. Looks like Barcelona in a walk this year. Real is becoming a laughing stock. All that money–and nothing to show for it but a circus act. Take note Chelski.

Speaking of hurt feelings, the word is FIFA is now looking into Materazzi to see what he did to provoke Zidane. What are they going to do? Ban players from talking to each other? I don’t care what he said to him, Zidane has to know better. It’s the bloody World Cup final, you imbicile. Kick his ass later. You’d think a French player would know what to do in that situation. He should have taken a page out of the Monty Python book and just ran away from the insidious taunting, whether his mother wears the combat boots or not.

Ipswich’s first loss of the season is only about 3 weeks away already. The Championship Division is about to start first week of August. The Premier League will only be a couple weeks behind. Actually, I hear the MSL is suposedly playing now. The Red Bulls have been looking to pull a Cosmos move and land some aging superstar. Zidane was mentioned, but I bet he’s off the radar now–still technically under contract anyway, whether he retires or not. Beckham. Ronaldo-grande. Whomever they land it won’t be a Pele, and it won’t make a difference. There’s no shortcuts. Make the league competitive and slowly increase the talent level across the board. It’s a poor standard right now. Give me a reason to want to watch it and I’ll start. Until then I’ll keep looking to Europe. If you can’t hook me, you have no chance.